DMs Are Debt. Restacks Are Deposits.
The gurus tell you to DM one person a day. They never tell you who, or why, or what happens when you get ghosted for the hundredth time.
“DM one person a day,” they say. It sounds like work. It feels like hustle. In reality, it is a recipe for creative bankruptcy.
I’ve spent twenty years watching creators burn out chasing validation in private. Here’s what actually works.
The Advice Is Hollow
Who are you even supposed to be DMing? Is it your audience? Other writers? Some “A-list” creator who doesn’t know you exist? The advice is a hollow shell. They tell you to knock, but they never give you the address, and they certainly never tell you what to say once the door opens.
I don’t do DMs. Most are uninvited guests asking for withdrawals from my time to make deposits into theirs.
The 20-Year Lesson
Twenty years ago, my 35-year-old self made a classic mistake. I protected my ideas. I worried about “poachers.” I thought that if I shared the good stuff for free, I’d lose my leverage. I was convinced that if I put my best thinking out in the open, people would just steal it and I’d be left with nothing.
I played that game for exactly one week.
Guarding my work didn’t make it valuable. It made it invisible. What I thought was “theft” was actually flattery. What I thought was “protection” was just insecurity.
Today, I have the confidence to know that you can’t poach a person’s source code. You can steal a sentence, but you can’t steal the twenty years of scar tissue that produced it. Rejection is fatiguing. If you spend your day chasing people in private and getting ghosted, you will burn out. You will quit.
The Veteran’s Move: Build in Public
Instead of hiding in the DMs or guarding your “secrets,” use the Restack.
If you are a growth-stage creator, your job isn’t to beg for attention in an inbox. Your job is to create a community in the light. When you Restack a peer’s work with a sharp, defiant commentary, you aren’t asking for a favor. You are conducting a public audition.
Why the Restack Wins
It’s Social Proof: A DM is a whisper in a dark room. A Restack is a conversation on a stage. Your audience sees your generosity. The other creator sees your competence.
It’s Value-First: You are actually helping someone else’s work reach more eyes while proving you have the intellect to add to the conversation.
The Rejection Filter: If the original author ignores your Restack, who cares? You’ve still provided value to your own community. You win regardless of their validation.
Stop Shortcutting the Relationship
Roberto Blake says, “Value is the filter for attention.”
If you have to force your way into an inbox, you haven’t passed the filter. You’re just making noise. Stop trying to shortcut the relationship. Build your house in public. Share the knowledge for free. The people who matter will recognize the weight of the experience behind the words.
Stay real. Stay defiant.
ABOUT THE 55/35 METHOD
The 55/35 Method is the bridge between veteran intuition and modern velocity. It applies decades of pattern recognition to today’s high-speed digital tools, ensuring that execution never outpaces purpose. We don’t just move fast; we move with the weight of experience behind every strike.
VIP ACCESS
I publish most of my thinking in public. That’s the point. Paid subscribers aren’t buying secrets. They’re backing the work and getting the condensed reads, the tactical breakdowns, and the monthly bonus pieces that turn experience into edge. If you’ve been around long enough to recognize a good read, you already know what to do.
V➤ Stop hoarding what you know. Share it loud. They can copy your words, but they can’t copy twenty years of you.
Practice what I just preached: Restack this. Let’s build in public together.